9 O'Clock.
Somebody I met today asked me how life has changed since we had kids. I don't think about it too often, but some things are very different. The activities we do have changed. The way we plan for different events and outings has changed. There is no such thing as spontaneity anymore (except when it comes to nappy issues). There is more planning involved in every activity we choose to participate in. Shopping is more tiring and generally much slower. There is no such thing as privacy. Nothing is just mine anymore, including the shower. Time doesn't seem to work the same, there seem to be about 8 hours less each day. And the people we see are different.
It's all very different for me. I'm trying to work out how to be a mum. I know it's already been happening for over 2 years, but still, I feel like I have no idea what I should be doing. I used to have a full-time job with other people around all the time.Now I'm at home more often than not and don't see many people at all. I hardly drive at all and usually not in traffic. I see more aeroplanes than I've ever noticed before and helicopters are really exciting. I point out trains wherever I am and sirens are fantastic. Did you ever stop and think about where snails go when you stop looking at them and how the gnome in the back garden might feel when it's cloudy? These are the kind of things I spend time thinking about now, rather than how to explain the importance of following the instructions when setting up your new sewing machine or which knitting needles are better for each yarn.
Somedays I feel less intelligent. I listen to people around me talking about current affairs with no clue as to what they are saying. I sit and try and keep up with conversations but often can't think about one thing for long enough to really understand what people are talking about. I find it hard to relate to people who talk about new movies and music because I don't watch or listen to anything that isn't appropriate for infant ears to hear. I spell out words more often than when I used to do spelling tests in primary school. And I do more loads of clothes washing than I can fit on our 2 clothes lines, which causes problems in winter sometimes.
Sometimes I feel like I'm doing the most important job in the world. I think of myself as a trainer, coach, mentor, manager, chef, kitchen hand, cleaner, facilitator, banker, secretary, judge, jury and pillow. It's a versatile position. I don't know that it would ever hold up if I put those things on my resume, but it really has been the most challenging position I've held.
Sometimes I feel like I'm completely out of control. I'm overwhelmed and have no clue as to what to do next and when 9 o'clock comes around I'm just about ready to collapse into a deep sleep. But most nights I don't. In-fact, I don't remember the last time I went to bed before 10.30pm.
I'm not having a whinge, just stating how it is. For those of you that don't have kids, it's different. Life will never be the same once you have them. Part of your brain dedicates itself to thinking about them all the time and you rarely get a break. But watching their face light up when you look at them, teaching them how to do the things we take for granted and helping them to understand what life is is worth it. I know, sounds sappy, but it's true. Having kids changed us and we're not going back.
And now it's after 10.30, I should probably head to bed. I hope this was helpful to anyone else wondering about being a mum or dad. If you have anything you'd like to add let me know or if you have any tips about the job requirements, please drop me a comment and I'll try and use it to better my performance in that area. Thanks for reading! I'll be back tomorrow.
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